Infertility Sucks!

Having fertility issues really can suck.  We have hoped and prayed for a baby for so many years and finally had some financial assistance to help us move on the the next step, IVF.  I have spent many an hour crying, grieving for the child that will be part of each of us.  I have been angry with God, wondering how we could be denied this deep desire when so many around us neglect the many children they are blessed with.  My husband and I have traveled a very long road to get where we are right now. 

This was all supposed to begin last week, but after being on birth control for 36 straight days (due to a doctor having a "vacation" conflict when our egg retrieval should have been...don't even get me started!) I had developed a cyst on each ovary.  I had been having pain in my left side, though it was the smallest cyst at 15 mm.  My right side had a 25 mm cyst.  I don't know if that is big or not, but it sure looked that way on the ultrasound monitor.  It was large enough for the nurse to go get another nurse to look at it.  The tears began to flow as soon as they told us this.  All I could think was will this put us off another month?  We have been waiting for so long, another month felt like eternity.  

Let me just say, I have been an emotional wreck the past few weeks.  It really began when the lovely ice chest arrived filled to the brim with all sorts of vials and needles.

This all would have been a-okay if my estrogen level had not been elevated to 498.  Is that high?  

Anyhow, the nurses at the clinic put me on norethindrone to lower my estrogen level and get me fully suppressed.

It worked! Though the cyst on the right ovary had grown to 29 mm, my estrogen levels are down to 24 as of this morning.  So Lupron begins as does our quest for a precious tiny little miracle.  Today was my first Lupron injection.  I was scared, I am not a fan of needles and was worried that I would not be able to inject myself, but I DID!! And, it wasn't so bad.  In 12 hours I will repeat.