Chemical Pregnancy

That is what you call it....whatever it is, it sucks.  My period finally came, five days after I knew this pregnancy would not be viable.  It has been the hardest five days I have ever endured.  For the first two days, I was inconsolable.  I am finally able to function and am back at work, I'm fine as long as I don't talk about it.  We return to see Dr. K. on Tuesday to find out where we go from here.  I am scared to move forward, fearing that I will not be able to be as relaxed as I was this cycle.  Afraid I will not be able to trust in God's plan.  Afraid that the next cycle will end like this one...

Devastation...

We did our second beta hcg test today since Friday's was so low. It went down to 5.2. This pregnancy is over, our hearts are broken.

The Results are In!!

I am officially pregnant for the first time EVER!!!!!!! It is a very bittersweet feeling because my HcG level is very low (7.5), but high enough to still be considered positive. We will return on Monday to be tested again, hopefully our numbers will move up a lot this weekend! But, I am PREGNANT!!!

Progesterone Check up

Yesterday was a tough day.  My husband was late to our appointment, so I was done before he arrived.  He was furious at me :( But during the appointment I had the typical 3 pokes before they found a vein.  Then they unceremoniously pulled out a paper to sign showing that the other 5 of our embryos were not suitable for cryo-preservation.  My heart sank.  If these two little babies don't latch on and continue to grow....we are back a square one.  The tears flowed freely most of the day!  Then the clinic called to tell me I have to up my dose of Progesterone to 1.5 ml and also add suppositories.  Yikes.  The nurse had told me that about 50% of women have to increase so not to worry.  I was so tired yesterday.  When we finally got home, after plant shopping and car shopping, I was beat.  My mom has taken such good care of me this week.  She hung out, cleaned, and packed until Ron got home, then she headed out.  I miss her!

Who thought bed rest would be so hard!!

5 hours to go until I reach 48 hours. Then I can have a shower....  Sure hope these babies have made their home.  Laying so long has given me terrible back pain. Hours of spasms starting at 1:30 am Thursday. So bad I had to get up. Hubs was so sweet to rub my back and every time I moved the rest of the night he would wake up and make sure I was okay. Poor guy had to work yesterday, I'm sure it was a tough day for him. I still had to lay around and was finally able to start sitting up a bit yesterday evening. Today I can shower!!!!

Zzzzzzzzz....

Bed rest has begun!

Our Embryo Transfer

After about a 2 hour delay our embryo transfer was completed!! Two beautiful embryos now reside in my uterus!! The Dr said I am now pregnant until proven otherwise!!!!!! I hope otherwise never happens.

Embryo Transfer Day!!

We are headed to the city for our transfer. Outside the car it is freezing, seriously, and pouring rain!! We are just hoping the rain stays liquid. To the west (the direction we are going) there are many school closings and very icy conditions. Hoping to avoid those.

Embryo Development Day 3 (a little late)

Yesterday I got my day 3 phone call, but with travel for work I have not yet had the chance to share. It was a great report!! Our envies have grown well. All are 1-2 on a five point scale!
One is now 10 cells
Four are 8 cells
One is seven cells

The embryologist said no guarantees could be made about if they would all become healthy blastocysts. We will find that out tomorrow when we go for transfer. I am so excited!!

My mom has come down to help since I have 48 hours of bed rest in my future. I took Friday off just to give them a little extra time to implant! Praying hard for a healthy pregnancy!!

Embryo Development Day 2

The embryologist called this morning to let us know how our babies are doing.  Here are their stats:
one 6 cell embryo
two 5 cell embryos
three 4 cell embryos
one 3 cell embryos

She said they are really liking the 4 cell embryos for transfer on Wednesday.  I am so elated!!

Seven!

The Lord's number! That is how many of our sweet eggs were fertilizing normally as of 11 am today!  Three of our eggs were too immature, and three were damaged during ICSI.  So we are left with 7!

Yes!!!

After a very long 30 minutes the nurse came in for a drink, and to let me know there were no sperm in the epidydimus (sp?). The dr. was going to have to take a biopsy. It would be a while before we heard. I lost it at that point and began to cry. I tried to calm myself and remember God has a plan and it is not over yet. 15 minutes later I hear a cheer in the OR, moments later the nurse came in to tell me I was up!!! That meant we had sperm!!!!! If there had been none we were going to forgo egg retrieval to regroup and decide our next step. No need for that yet!

I went into the OR at 8:30 and the first thing I remember after that is asking Hubs how many eggs were retrieved. There were 13!!!! From the giggles that followed my question made it clear I had already asked it several times.

I'm now resting comfortably at the MIL's, enjoying a bit of rest while Hubby rests comfortably next to me. At some point tomorrow we will hear from the embryologists to find out how many have fertilized.

Thank you Lord!!

Yes or No...That is the ?

Hubby is now in surgery, looking for his swimmers.

Finally!

The time has finally arrived.  Yesterday I had another U/S and blood workup.  16 follicles large enough to have an egg (mature or close). I took my trigger shot last night (Ovidrel).  Tomorrow morning at 7:30 my husband undergoes MESA.  If he has sperm I go for egg retrieval at 8:30.  Lots of prayers have been and will be said between now and then.  We have no back-up plan.  I am scared...I am worried...I am trying to remember that whatever happens, it is part of God's plan.  If you read this and are a believer, please say a prayer for us.

Check!

Final dose of Lupron injected. Check!!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 15

Went back for a check today and the Dr. actually came to "the viewing".  He also planted himself between the stirrups and casually draped his arm over my legs and chatted with us as the nurse checked my ovaries.  REALLY!!!  My follicles had grown minimally since yesterday, but Doc said he would look at the final numbers and my bloodwork before deciding for sure if it would be trigger day.  The nurse sent us home with Oocyte Retrieval instructions along with 5 more vials of Menopur (just in case). We headed home and on the way the nurse called to let us know that it was NOT trigger day and I need one more day of stim shots.  I am disappointed, but I want the most eggies possible.  We head back tomorrow, hopefully for some better news.  Looks like Friday is the day now.  Our lives will change one way or the other.  Sperm or no sperm...that is now the question!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 14

I felt terrible most of last week. Had terrible sharp pains in lower left abdomen and lower left back. Nurse said my ovary could be resting on a nerve. I was worried I had damaged my back, but I finally got some relief yesterday.

We went in today for our 6th Ultrasound and blood work check. My follicles are finally starting to grow. The nurse said we may be ready for retrieval on Thursday!!! I am so excited! Take a look at my ovaries and measurements. The first pic is my right ovary, next is left, and lastly the measurements they took today.