Out with the Old

We finally did it! We have been shopping for a new bed and spending lots of time laying on them. We first thought we would want a sleep number bed. Those we have talked to love theirs, and DH and I have such different comfort wishes that we thought it would be the best option. We left the Sleep Number store feeling as if we had had a lot of hot air blown up our *sses. 

So then we went to Mathis Brothers to try some memory foam options. There were a couple of maybes there, but they were all pretty expensive. We only had about 40 minutes to try the beds...not nearly enough time to really know. So we left still unsure. 

Sunday after church we decide to stop by a local furniture store, Furniture Showcase,  just to see what they had. We tried Serta, Tempur-pedic, and Sealy. After 2 hours of laying around I needed a nap, but we had narrowed it down to a Tempur-Pedic and a Serta icomfort. We took a break for a few days...school and work keeping us busy. Fall break arrives and we head back to Furniture Showcase to lay on the two finalists again. We really liked the Tempur-Pedic but not the price tag. The icomfort was just a little softer and just not working for us so we moved to the bed next to it. It was still an icomfort and it was a little firmer and a whole lot less expensive than the Tempur-Pedic.  We were sold. It arrived today!!! Here is to no sore back tomorrow morning!

Round 2 Begins!!

I feel excited, nervous, scared out of my mind. Yesterday our Meds arrived and they ordered more this time since I had to get several refills last cycle. Freakin out looking at all the Meds!

My suppression check was yesterday and the ultrasound showed 2 large cysts on my right ovary. One was 40mm the other 25mm. But on a happier note my E2 level was only 29 which means we got to start meds last night with a Lupron injection. Lupron every twelve hours and tomorrow I begin the Follistim and Menopur. 

Hubby and I are in the car headed toward my first cyst aspiration. The RE thinks I will respond better if those little buggers are gone. Just took my Valium and hydrocodone...this could get interesting!

Chemical Pregnancy

That is what you call it....whatever it is, it sucks.  My period finally came, five days after I knew this pregnancy would not be viable.  It has been the hardest five days I have ever endured.  For the first two days, I was inconsolable.  I am finally able to function and am back at work, I'm fine as long as I don't talk about it.  We return to see Dr. K. on Tuesday to find out where we go from here.  I am scared to move forward, fearing that I will not be able to be as relaxed as I was this cycle.  Afraid I will not be able to trust in God's plan.  Afraid that the next cycle will end like this one...

Devastation...

We did our second beta hcg test today since Friday's was so low. It went down to 5.2. This pregnancy is over, our hearts are broken.

The Results are In!!

I am officially pregnant for the first time EVER!!!!!!! It is a very bittersweet feeling because my HcG level is very low (7.5), but high enough to still be considered positive. We will return on Monday to be tested again, hopefully our numbers will move up a lot this weekend! But, I am PREGNANT!!!

Progesterone Check up

Yesterday was a tough day.  My husband was late to our appointment, so I was done before he arrived.  He was furious at me :( But during the appointment I had the typical 3 pokes before they found a vein.  Then they unceremoniously pulled out a paper to sign showing that the other 5 of our embryos were not suitable for cryo-preservation.  My heart sank.  If these two little babies don't latch on and continue to grow....we are back a square one.  The tears flowed freely most of the day!  Then the clinic called to tell me I have to up my dose of Progesterone to 1.5 ml and also add suppositories.  Yikes.  The nurse had told me that about 50% of women have to increase so not to worry.  I was so tired yesterday.  When we finally got home, after plant shopping and car shopping, I was beat.  My mom has taken such good care of me this week.  She hung out, cleaned, and packed until Ron got home, then she headed out.  I miss her!

Who thought bed rest would be so hard!!

5 hours to go until I reach 48 hours. Then I can have a shower....  Sure hope these babies have made their home.  Laying so long has given me terrible back pain. Hours of spasms starting at 1:30 am Thursday. So bad I had to get up. Hubs was so sweet to rub my back and every time I moved the rest of the night he would wake up and make sure I was okay. Poor guy had to work yesterday, I'm sure it was a tough day for him. I still had to lay around and was finally able to start sitting up a bit yesterday evening. Today I can shower!!!!

Zzzzzzzzz....

Bed rest has begun!

Our Embryo Transfer

After about a 2 hour delay our embryo transfer was completed!! Two beautiful embryos now reside in my uterus!! The Dr said I am now pregnant until proven otherwise!!!!!! I hope otherwise never happens.

Embryo Transfer Day!!

We are headed to the city for our transfer. Outside the car it is freezing, seriously, and pouring rain!! We are just hoping the rain stays liquid. To the west (the direction we are going) there are many school closings and very icy conditions. Hoping to avoid those.

Embryo Development Day 3 (a little late)

Yesterday I got my day 3 phone call, but with travel for work I have not yet had the chance to share. It was a great report!! Our envies have grown well. All are 1-2 on a five point scale!
One is now 10 cells
Four are 8 cells
One is seven cells

The embryologist said no guarantees could be made about if they would all become healthy blastocysts. We will find that out tomorrow when we go for transfer. I am so excited!!

My mom has come down to help since I have 48 hours of bed rest in my future. I took Friday off just to give them a little extra time to implant! Praying hard for a healthy pregnancy!!

Embryo Development Day 2

The embryologist called this morning to let us know how our babies are doing.  Here are their stats:
one 6 cell embryo
two 5 cell embryos
three 4 cell embryos
one 3 cell embryos

She said they are really liking the 4 cell embryos for transfer on Wednesday.  I am so elated!!

Seven!

The Lord's number! That is how many of our sweet eggs were fertilizing normally as of 11 am today!  Three of our eggs were too immature, and three were damaged during ICSI.  So we are left with 7!

Yes!!!

After a very long 30 minutes the nurse came in for a drink, and to let me know there were no sperm in the epidydimus (sp?). The dr. was going to have to take a biopsy. It would be a while before we heard. I lost it at that point and began to cry. I tried to calm myself and remember God has a plan and it is not over yet. 15 minutes later I hear a cheer in the OR, moments later the nurse came in to tell me I was up!!! That meant we had sperm!!!!! If there had been none we were going to forgo egg retrieval to regroup and decide our next step. No need for that yet!

I went into the OR at 8:30 and the first thing I remember after that is asking Hubs how many eggs were retrieved. There were 13!!!! From the giggles that followed my question made it clear I had already asked it several times.

I'm now resting comfortably at the MIL's, enjoying a bit of rest while Hubby rests comfortably next to me. At some point tomorrow we will hear from the embryologists to find out how many have fertilized.

Thank you Lord!!

Yes or No...That is the ?

Hubby is now in surgery, looking for his swimmers.

Finally!

The time has finally arrived.  Yesterday I had another U/S and blood workup.  16 follicles large enough to have an egg (mature or close). I took my trigger shot last night (Ovidrel).  Tomorrow morning at 7:30 my husband undergoes MESA.  If he has sperm I go for egg retrieval at 8:30.  Lots of prayers have been and will be said between now and then.  We have no back-up plan.  I am scared...I am worried...I am trying to remember that whatever happens, it is part of God's plan.  If you read this and are a believer, please say a prayer for us.

Check!

Final dose of Lupron injected. Check!!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 15

Went back for a check today and the Dr. actually came to "the viewing".  He also planted himself between the stirrups and casually draped his arm over my legs and chatted with us as the nurse checked my ovaries.  REALLY!!!  My follicles had grown minimally since yesterday, but Doc said he would look at the final numbers and my bloodwork before deciding for sure if it would be trigger day.  The nurse sent us home with Oocyte Retrieval instructions along with 5 more vials of Menopur (just in case). We headed home and on the way the nurse called to let us know that it was NOT trigger day and I need one more day of stim shots.  I am disappointed, but I want the most eggies possible.  We head back tomorrow, hopefully for some better news.  Looks like Friday is the day now.  Our lives will change one way or the other.  Sperm or no sperm...that is now the question!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 14

I felt terrible most of last week. Had terrible sharp pains in lower left abdomen and lower left back. Nurse said my ovary could be resting on a nerve. I was worried I had damaged my back, but I finally got some relief yesterday.

We went in today for our 6th Ultrasound and blood work check. My follicles are finally starting to grow. The nurse said we may be ready for retrieval on Thursday!!! I am so excited! Take a look at my ovaries and measurements. The first pic is my right ovary, next is left, and lastly the measurements they took today.

IVF Drug Protocol Day 8

Missed posting yesterday...back to school caused total exhaustion and to top it off my raging hormones lead to total meltdown!!! It was not a pretty scene to say the least! Now I am finally back to a semblance of normal. Had another ultrasound and estradiol check this morning. My left ovary and 6 follies showed themselves today after their disappearing act on Sunday. Thank goodness!! Cyst on right ovary is now 33mm....arghhhh! Wish that thing would quit growing. Strangely my pain is located mostly on the left with rare twinges on the right. So, after my u/s the nurse said I was done with Follistim, but called back at noon to let me know I need to continue for at least 2 more days. Guess what?!? I am out, (actually had just enough for today) so I had to call the pharmacy to get a refill and just hope it comes early tomorrow! Still not sure when retrieval will be, I'm guessing early next week.

The nurse also went over all of our pre-op paperwork today and asked when we were doing the MESA procedure. We were told it had to be done after egg retrieval. Guaranteeing at least a $14,0000 bill even if we have no sperm. She called us later and had spoken to the lab. We can do MESA first, so if we have no sperm we can skip egg retrieval!!! This will save us a ton of money if that happens to be the outcome! One small relief in the onslaught of things going on right now!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 6

Today is day 6 of injections and was my first check up since beginning stim shots. Injected Lupron before our trip to the city, had to wait on Follistim until after the blood work and ultrasound. One of the fertility docs tried to pull my blood for the third visit in a row and failed yet again. The nurses are always successful. Just wish he wouldn't move the needle so much in his attempts.
Finally made it into an ultrasound room and got down to business. I finally got to see some of my growing follicles. On the right ovary at least. For some reason my left ovary was MIA. The nurse went to get the doc since she couldn't find it and she found some fluid in my uterus. Doc couldn't find it either, though he tried very hard. He said it should show itself when the follicles get large enough. Since Aunt Flow is still here he said not to worry about the fluid in my uterus, it may just be clots. Though he did find a fibroid, didn't seem concerned about it. I don't even know what that is. Guess I'll be doing some google searching later!

The nurse said to continue the same dosing until my next appointment on Tuesday.

In other news, my DH's grandmother is failing. It will not be long until she is with Jesus. Hubby had a nice afternoon comforting her and healing his heart.

Here is a pic of my follie sizes!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 5

It is Saturday morning, the final weekend of my spring break. This has been my week to do very little. I had big plans, accomplished few.

Up early every morning to do injections, sleeping in has not been on the agenda.  I had big plans to get lots of materials created for my classroom...HAH!  That did not happen, but I am not upset, I have a great student teacher this semester and know that she will be well prepared for Monday. 

Today is Day 5 of my injections.  I have now had 9 Lupron injections, 3 Follistim, and 2 Menopur.  I go in early tomorrow for my first check since the injections began.  Today my symptoms, other than mild menstrual cramps, are frequent stabbing pains in my right lower abdomen.  I am pretty sure it is that right ovary with the enlarged cyst.  I sure hope these meds are not causing it to grow more!  Think I may call the nurses just to make sure everything is okay. 

Zucchini and Carrot Fries!

I found this yummy looking recipe on Pinterest, so I decided to try it out. What do you think?
The Recipe was delicious!  I just seasoned mine with salt, pepper, a tiny bit of cayenne, and cumin. Easy Peasy as my kiddos at school would say! Click the picture to take you to the recipe.

IVF Drug Protocol Day 4

It is day 4 of my IVF drug protocol.  Last night I had my first injection of Menopur which involved several vials and mixing.  It was a larger dose than any of the others and was definitely more painful.  The nurse told me I may get my period after stopping the norethindrone, but after the light bleeding I had earlier this month (12 days of it!!!) I didn't think there was anyway I could bleed more.  I was wrong.  I have had the worst cramps that I have had in months these last two days.  It feels weird to have my period and be taking meds to grow eggs.  Seems counterproductive.  But, I am not an MD and this process is so new to me.  My symptoms with the Lupron have pretty well gone, just a light headache, but that could also be sinus related.  I feel pretty good.  I just hope this keeps up.

No, I am NOT Organized!

I want to be, but I am just not very organized.  For this reason my husband and I enrolled in emeals.com meal planning program.  I get my nicely bundled meal plan sent to me in a happy little email.  All I have to do is print and shop.  Last night was our very first night to test the menu.  I made white bean soup with spinach and tomatoes with a side of cornbread.  I have to say...YUMMM!  On the menu tonight is pork salsa verde served over grits!  Sure hope it is as tasty.

IVF Drug Protocol Day 3

On day three now.  5 Lupron injections done, and just began an a.m. dose of Follistim. Tonight will be Lupron followed by Menopur. This one actually requires mixing and several vials of powdered meds.  I'm scared!  Overall I feel okay.  Mild headache and dizziness compounded with feeling tired, and today my period has begun and I have severe cramps.  Dang!  My biggest side effect to the drugs so far started last night...extreme emotion.  I cried at least 4 times last night and once this morning (while watching a movie preview of a movie I have already seen!) Ridiculous!

IVF Drug Protocol Day 2

It is the morning of day 2.  Three Lupron injections done.  I am not a fan.  Within 30 minutes of the injection I get a throbbing headache, actually my head feels like it is swelling.  I feel tired and lightheaded.  I had difficulty sleeping last night. I am developing a small rash on my tummy.  I am not a fan.  I know that if this all works out and we do have a baby it will be well worth it!  Just not sure if I should worry about these side effects.

Infertility Sucks!

Having fertility issues really can suck.  We have hoped and prayed for a baby for so many years and finally had some financial assistance to help us move on the the next step, IVF.  I have spent many an hour crying, grieving for the child that will be part of each of us.  I have been angry with God, wondering how we could be denied this deep desire when so many around us neglect the many children they are blessed with.  My husband and I have traveled a very long road to get where we are right now. 

This was all supposed to begin last week, but after being on birth control for 36 straight days (due to a doctor having a "vacation" conflict when our egg retrieval should have been...don't even get me started!) I had developed a cyst on each ovary.  I had been having pain in my left side, though it was the smallest cyst at 15 mm.  My right side had a 25 mm cyst.  I don't know if that is big or not, but it sure looked that way on the ultrasound monitor.  It was large enough for the nurse to go get another nurse to look at it.  The tears began to flow as soon as they told us this.  All I could think was will this put us off another month?  We have been waiting for so long, another month felt like eternity.  

Let me just say, I have been an emotional wreck the past few weeks.  It really began when the lovely ice chest arrived filled to the brim with all sorts of vials and needles.

This all would have been a-okay if my estrogen level had not been elevated to 498.  Is that high?  

Anyhow, the nurses at the clinic put me on norethindrone to lower my estrogen level and get me fully suppressed.

It worked! Though the cyst on the right ovary had grown to 29 mm, my estrogen levels are down to 24 as of this morning.  So Lupron begins as does our quest for a precious tiny little miracle.  Today was my first Lupron injection.  I was scared, I am not a fan of needles and was worried that I would not be able to inject myself, but I DID!! And, it wasn't so bad.  In 12 hours I will repeat.